Email Gem of the Week

A gentle reminder not to take ourselves too seriously.

John Kerry Goes To Hell



One day in the future, John Kerry has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.?

Kerry thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Kerry said. "I don't think so. I've got some shrapnel in my leg from Vietnam that bothers me sometimes so I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I have an old war injury on my arm and I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Kerry.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Kerry saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Kerry looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . . . . . . . .






(This is priceless)






"OK, Monica, you're free to go."